The Fire In My Eyes Read online

  “I'm not going to think you're lame, Kevin,” she said. “What's on your mind?”

  “Well, I know we're having this anti-Valentine's Day thing here, so it's against the spirit of that, but I was just wondering if you would you be my Valentine?”

  In my head, I screamed at myself. How lame was that? I blushed and stared at my feet. That wasn't what I wanted to ask, but it had just sort of come out.

  She giggled. “Oh, Kev. You're a romantic, aren't you?”

  “I guess so.” I couldn't look up.

  “You guess so? You are, completely. Nothing wrong with that. It's sweet.”

  “So?” I trailed off and dared to look up. She was watching the sky again.

  She didn't say anything for a long moment, then looked down at her feet. “Well, I'd say yes, Kev, I really would. But I have a boyfriend back home.”

  My heart plummeted from my throat down somewhere between my liver and kidneys, where it could drown itself in booze and filth, as was appropriate. My mouth was dry and I had to swallow hard before saying anything. “I didn't know,” I finally managed to get out.

  “It's ok,” she said, still studying her feet. “I never told you. I should have. I'm sorry.”

  “It's all right,” I said, and tried to summon up Drew's advice, even the tiniest bit. Any sense of self-confidence I had, had just been taken out back and shot. What a dumbass I was. I had never asked her if she was single, I had just assumed she was.

  “Let's just be friends for now, ok?” She looked at me, took my hands in hers and squeezed. “Ok?”

  How could this be happening all over again? I looked away for a moment, and when I looked back, she was wearing Stephanie's face. I jerked backwards, tearing my hands free from her icy grasp. “Why are you doing this?” I asked.

  “Doing what?” She was Nikki again, surprised and hurt. She moved toward me and snow crunched under her feet. “Kevin, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

  “But you waited until now to decide that it was a good time to tell me?” It was just like Steph. Just like what had happened with her. She had never said anything to me either. I had finally asked her one day. It had taken me years to find some balls. Then I found out she was already with someone the same way. The same fucking way.

  “I said I'm sorry! You have to believe me, you're special to me, you're a great guy and I really enjoy spending time with you, but I made a promise!” She took another step forward.

  I stepped back again. Steph's words echoed with hers. “I'm sorry, Kevin,” she had said. “You're special to me, you've been one of my best friends for years. I love spending time with you. But I made a promise.”

  I shook my head. The past faded away again, leaving only Nikki behind. Her cheeks were flushed and she leaned toward me. “Kevin? Are you all right?”

  “Fine,” I snapped and took another step back. “I should have known. The guy far away is more important than the one right here. Fine. You made a promise to him. Keep your promise. I'm going inside.” I turned my back on her and took a deep breath, trying to release the tension in my shoulders and back before it turned into a full-blown migraine.

  I hadn't dated Steph. I hadn't broken up with her. I had hardly even asked her out. She had been a close friend all through high school, maybe my best friend. We even went to the same local community college after graduation. When I finally asked her out, she was already involved in a long distance relationship. I hadn't known. I was too embarrassed to face her again, face any of our mutual friends, or face anyone at all. I dropped out of classes. Out of school. Out of life.

  “Kevin, wait!” Nikki's voice intruded into my memories. She didn't sound at all like Steph, but at that moment, her tone was eerily similar. “I still want to be friends with you! I feel comfortable around you because you're one of the only people here who can understand what I'm going through!”

  I forced myself to walk away. I felt as if I was betraying her, even as I wished that she would betray her boyfriend, leave him, and be with me. My head started to throb painfully and I closed my eyes to try to push away the headache. Taking a deep breath of frosty air didn't help. Everything hurt even more. Even so, maybe there was a way to salvage this. I didn't want it to end like how it had with Steph and me. I didn't want to run away and pretend this had never happened. I didn't know what else to do, though.

  I didn't hear her walking toward me, not with my pulse throbbing in my ears. I only felt her grab my arm and heard her voice getting shrill. “Are you even listening to me? What's wrong with you?”

  Her tone was so insistent and hurt, it made me feel even worse. Her frustration fueled my own. Who did she think she was? What was I thinking? The situation wasn't like Steph! She had turned me down, but we had been friends for years. She hadn't appeared in my life and flirted and shown interest and led me on, just to slam me into the friend zone. She was obviously trying to keep me on the back burner, leaving me in reserve in case something happened with the boyfriend. That wasn't fair. That wasn't right.

  My temples throbbed with pain all over again, so painful that it almost forced tears from my eyes. I knew the truth now. Drew would have known what was going on, he knew how the game was played. Max would have known too, he had dealt with girls like her. I should have known. She was toying with me. I was just a game to her.

  Her grip on my arm tightened painfully. “Kevin, talk to me. I don't want things to end like this. Let's talk this out, ok?”

  I spun toward her. I didn't want to talk it out. I didn't want her to touch me, I didn't want her to be near me, I didn't want her to hurt me any more than she already had. My temples throbbed as if my brain was about to burst, and I pushed her away. “No!”

  Her expression in that moment was shocked, horrified, surprised. Her face was highlighted in green light. At that moment, I realized my mistake. My anger-fueled push flung her through the air, her arms and legs flailing helplessly, sending her flying into the wall of the dorm about twenty feet away with a dull crunch. Her body slumped limply to the ground and snow puffed away from her in a white cloud. I fell to my knees, muscles aching, my head feeling like it was about to split open.

  I felt drained, as if I had just run thirty laps around the building. My muscles screamed as I forced myself to my feet. I only took a single step forward before crashing down, slumping forward on my hands and knees, staring at the ground. The snow was tinted green with the light from my eyes. It was happening again. Just like I had pushed Drew out of the way when the car had almost hit us, I had pushed her away with far more strength than I was physically capable of. What sort of freak was I?

  A killer freak, maybe. I forced myself up again and staggered toward her unmoving body. My head throbbed with every step, but the pain was starting to fade. I took three steps and fell on my knees again. She still wasn't moving. I couldn't tell if she was breathing.

  “You fucking idiot!” Someone kicked me aside as they strode past me. I flopped on my side and rolled onto my back. My head bounced off the ground, sending another shock of pain through me. “What the hell were you thinking? You threw her into a wall? You threw her into a fucking wall!”

  Chapter Six

  I rolled over and pushed myself up on trembling arms. “I don't, I didn't, what?”

  The man spun toward me. His trench coat rippled as if a strong wind was blowing, but I couldn't even feel a breeze. Without warning, green light shimmered from behind his sunglasses. Something pulled me into the air and dragged me over to him. “Why?” he snarled. Green light. He was one of them too.

  “I don't know!” I said. I rose higher into the air, dangling several inches off the ground, my feet kicking at nothing. He didn't say a word, just stared up at me. “I don't know how to do anything like that! I'm not that strong! I don't know what I did! Let go!”

  The strings holding me in the air suddenly snapped and I fell to the ground, my legs giving out under me as I hit. I gasped in pain as my knees crunched into the ground y
et again. He held a palm up at me, then turned away and walked to Nikki. After a moment of silence, he looked toward the main campus. Green light flickered behind his sunglasses again, but he didn't say anything.

  I tried to stand again. My knees were aching now, but there had to be something I could do. “What can I do?” I asked.

  He looked over his shoulder at me. “You've done enough. Get lost.”

  “Such a greeting.” Another voice spoke, one I didn't recognize. I turned my head as she swept past me. Like the man, she wore dark sunglasses and a trench coat, but her skin was pale. She paused as she walked past, turned her head fractionally to glance at me, then strode past to kneel beside Nikki. With the similar wardrobe, she had to be another freak.

  “Wasn't talking to you. Asshole there flung her into the wall. How far did you throw her? Shit, how hard did you throw her? Were you trying to kill her or the wall?” He shot questions at me, questions I didn't know how to answer without damning myself.

  “Ease off, Shade,” the woman said. From my perspective, I could see her left eye starting to glow green. Both of them had the same sort of glow as Alistair Ripley. They had to be part of his organization. Ripley hired people like this to help him save the world? Bullshit.

  The man's next words confirmed my suspicion. “Like hell. He's the piece of shit who turned down Alistair's offer. Thinks he's too good for us.”

  “Is that so?” She placed a hand on Nikki's forehead and the glow grew brighter.

  “No!” I protested. “It’s not like that. I wanted time to think about it.”

  “Oh?” The woman spoke as if she was paying a dollar a word. Then again, she seemed distracted.

  “I don't trust him! He says his organization wants to save the world, but he's willing to let people die if they don't join him! That's not the type of person who wants to save the world!” I said. I was babbling and probably doing more harm than good, but I couldn't keep my mouth shut. “I don't know who you are or what you're doing, I don't have any reason to believe him! I just want to know what I'm getting into before I commit!”

  The woman snorted, but said nothing. The man rose to his feet, brushed off his knees, and then stepped over to me and grabbed the front of my shirt. He lifted me up off the ground one-handed and I heard my shirt's seams start to rip. “Have you ever considered that maybe our organization is trying to save the world from fools like you?” he asked in a conversational tone. “Fools who insist that they want to be normal, live a normal life, marry a normal girl, raise normal kids. But you can't. You won't. And you won't fucking accept it!” All of a sudden, I was flying through the air, part of my shirt still clutched in his fist.

  “Stop!” Something caught me before I hit the ground. The woman beckoned to the man. “Shade, stop. I need your help, before we lose her.”

  “Lose her?” the man asked. Whatever force was holding me up abruptly let go and I fell to the ground yet again. My knees were violently protesting this treatment and my head was spinning and I was freezing with my shirt torn open and ruined. I hunched forward and limped back toward them, trying not to distract them.

  Even so, he noticed me. “What the hell are you doing? I already told you, there's nothing you can do. Why don't you just crawl into a hole somewhere and die?”

  “I want to help!” I said.

  The woman sighed. “You can't. You don't know how. Watch, if you want. Pray, if you're of a mind to.”

  “How badly is she hurt?” I pressed for answers.

  The woman pushed her sunglasses up over her forehead and looked at me. Her eyes were glowing bright green. “What's your name?”

  “Kevin.”

  The woman nodded. Her hand rested against Nikki's forehead. “Kevin. I'll explain as quickly as I can. Consider me a medical professional. She hit the wall hard enough to break bones. Her skull is fractured, she has a severe concussion, and her scalp is split. Plenty of blood loss. Help her generate blood.” Her last words were directed to the man.

  “On it,” he said.

  “Below the neck, her spine has a few minor fractures. It doesn't look like there's any spinal damage, so you didn't paralyze her. If she had spun any further, she might have broken her back. Lucky girl. As lucky as you can get when flung through the air like that.”

  “How did I fling her so far?” I asked.

  She either didn't hear me, or ignored my question. “Her left arm twisted behind her when she hit. Her elbow joint is damaged. She may have other internal injuries, but it doesn't seem like she has any life-threatening injuries below the neck. Modern medicine would have her in the hospital for weeks. Physical rehab for months.”

  “You make it sound like modern medicine is lacking,” I said.

  The woman favored me with a small smile. “Barring any serious issues, we'll have her back on her feet tomorrow.”

  “Speaking of serious issues, she's in shock,” the man said. “I think she's about to stroke out.”

  “What?” The woman turned away from me and the green glow from her eyes brightened. “I see. Subdural hematoma. She hit harder than I thought. Can you stabilize the blood vessels while I handle the hematoma?”

  “I don't think so. I'm not too good with anything more than the basics.” The man let a hissing breath out. “I can keep an eye on her vitals and try to keep her blood pressure from going too high.”

  “Good enough. I'm going to reinforce the blood vessels in the brain. Once that's stable, I'll drain the hematoma. As long as I can keep it from getting any worse, she'll pull through.” The woman placed her other hand on top of Nikki's head and winced. I shuddered. Just her simple descriptions of what had happened were painful enough.

  “Is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?” I pleaded. “I did this to her, I need to do something!”

  “You can't. I already told you that. Watch. Pray,” the woman said.

  “And shut up if you're not going to fuck off,” the man added. I felt my tongue suddenly freeze in my mouth. I tried to lift my hand to feel my face, but my arm refused to move. I couldn't lift a finger or toe. All I could do was stand there in the freezing cold and watch. The cold evening wind whipped through the ragged tear in my shirt and I started shivering.

  They knelt in silence. The green light from their eyes subtly varied in shade and brightness, and I could almost see something like lines drawn through the air. The impression was so faint and fleeting, it was as if it wasn't there at all. After a minute, the woman let out a deep breath. “Almost done with the brain injuries.”

  “Something with her heartbeat. Irregular. Shit!” The man placed a hand on Nikki's chest. I felt a sudden, irrational surge of jealousy. “What do I do?”

  “Hold on!” the woman snapped. “Keep her stable!”

  “I'm trying. Skipping beats. What the fuck?”

  “Fibrillating. Arrhythmia. Keep her going. Almost done.” The woman's voice was rough, almost rasping.

  “Cardiac arrest!” the man shouted. “She's in arrest!”

  I couldn't close my eyes. Whatever was holding me in place was keeping me from making a single voluntary muscle movement. I couldn't even blink. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't help, and she was dying. Cardiac arrest. Everyone knew what it meant. My temples throbbed with a constant dull beat of pain.

  “Clear! Clear, dammit!” The man threw himself backwards and sprawled on the ground nearly at my feet. I heard an electric crackle and the smell of ozone reached my nose. The woman pressed both hands to Nikki's chest. I heard an electric crackle and saw Nikki's entire body spasm. The woman counted aloud to five, and then there was another crack and convulsion, followed by a gasp. I didn't see any sort of chest paddles. How had she done that? “She's fine. Momentary arrest, due to shock. Keep an eye on her heart. You're doing fine.”

  “This is not my area of expertise,” the man growled as he scrambled back.

  “You're doing fine,” the woman repeated. “I need to drain the hematoma. Ready?”

/>   “How are you going to drain it?” he asked.

  “Like this.” I didn't see what she did, but the smell of ozone was abruptly overwhelmed by the stink of burning flesh. There was a hiss and the man made a sound of disgust. “That should do it. Any blood left there should be reabsorbed by her body over time. I'm going to seal her up and take care of the fracture now. How are her vitals?”

  “Heart rate and blood pressure are high, but stable,” the man said. “I wish you had warned me you were going to do that.”

  The woman laughed. “Payback for last week.”

  “I told you I didn't do that on purpose.”

  “Sure. You know how I love surprises. All right. Fracture is done.” The glow from her eyes flickered and dimmed, and she wiped sweat from her forehead. “I don't know if I can handle much more right now. The major injuries are taken care of.”

  “Can we move her?” the man asked.

  She looked up at me before answering him. “Not yet. I don't want to risk a spine injury. Give me time to recover and I'll take care of the spinal fractures. We can brace and move her after that. I'll keep an eye on her, so why don't you start the cleanup?”

  “Right.”

  “And let Kevin go.”

  He made another disgusted sound, but the force holding me in place suddenly let go. I crouched down and wrapped my arms around myself, not willing to collapse on my knees again tonight. I was shivering uncontrollably. It was freezing, but there was no way I was going to go inside until I was sure Nikki was going to make it. Maybe it was stupid, but I couldn't leave her with these two strangers, even if they had saved her life.

  “Cold?” the woman asked.

  “Freezing,” I stammered through chattering teeth. Her eyes flickered and I felt a sudden surge of warmth. I slowly stood up, still feeling the cold, but not as much as I had moments ago. “Thanks, I think.”

  “You're welcome, I think.” She stretched, cat-like. “She almost didn't make it. Lucky I was nearby.”