The Fire In My Eyes Read online

  I flinched back into my seat and the moment passed. People were standing up and applauding. My head throbbed. My vision blurred. I closed my eyes and rubbed at my temples as green sparks danced across the darkness. As soon as I heard the people to either side of me start to leave, I stood up and shuffled my way outside as quickly as I could.

  The cold air brought tears to my eyes and I wiped my face. I pushed my way out of the foot traffic, leaned against a wall, and squeezed my eyes closed again. The throbbing in my head abruptly died away and the colors dancing around the edges of my vision faded. I sighed in relief. I really wanted to get back to my room and sleep. Two similar incidents within an hour of each other told me that I was far more tired than I realized.

  “Hey, are you ok?” I looked to my left. A girl was leaning on the wall like me, just a few feet away. She hadn't been there when I closed my eyes. She squinted at me and stepped closer. “You're pale. Do you need to go to the infirmary?”

  “You're the second person to ask me that today,” I said, forcing a smile. Her eyebrows drew together, just like the lady at the Caf. “No, really, I'm fine. I didn't sleep well, and then coming out from that hot cramped room into the cold? I'm just not used to the weather here.”

  She smiled back, a cute smile, including dimples. “Oh, I agree. I'm not used to it either, but I've learned how to cope with it. Wear layers. Guess how many layers I have on.”

  I checked her out at her invitation. She had a pretty face, but everything else was hidden by bulky clothing. Even her hair was hidden under a knit cap. I thought up a number of layers and added one. Too low a number and it would sound like I thought she was fat. That wasn't going to make her like me. “Four layers?”

  “Close! Three. Coat, sweater, and a shirt. Well, I guess four is right if you count underwear.” Her smile turned a little warmer. I felt my face heat up a little.

  “I guess it depends on how thick the underwear is,” I said. I was a little out of practice at flirting. It was tempting to ask if I could check, but she didn't seem like she’d appreciate something so blatant. There was also the problem of not having anywhere near the amount of guts needed to say that.

  She laughed. “True! But, my point is you need to layer up more. See? I'm perfectly comfortable here.”

  “You look warm,” I said. “I'll have to steal this idea of yours.”

  She looked me up and down. “Let me think. You'd look better in darker colors. Try something dark blue, maybe charcoal. Yeah, that'd look good. Sky blue just doesn't look right on you.”

  I pretended to write on an invisible piece of paper and wished it was real. I had no idea what colors looked good on me. “I'm taking notes here.”

  She giggled. “Definitely darker colors. Use lighter colors as accents. Hey, I have to go, I'm having breakfast with my roommate. Nice talking to you! Say hi if you see me, ok?” She lifted a hand and disappeared into the crowd before I could get another word out.

  I took a step after her, but had to wait as a group of meaty guys lumbered past, loudly discussing prospects of joining the football team. After they passed, a group of girls followed, discussing their prospects with the potential football players. By the time the third group passed, consisting of guys discussing the pretty girls, she was long gone. I sighed and cursed my stupidity. I hadn't gotten her name, and how would I even recognize her when I had only seen her face?

  “So, was that as exciting as it looked?” I looked to my right. Max grinned at me around a cigarette. Unlike yesterday when we met, the cigarette was lit. It wasn't just for style after all.

  “What, the orientation?” I asked.

  “No, failing with that girl, dumbass.”

  I glared at him. “Were you watching the entire time?”

  “Yup.” Max's grin widened and he blew a stream of smoke into the air.

  “Didn't you say it was too early for you to be up?” I asked.

  “It is, but Drew kicked me out and told me to rescue you from orientation. You don't need to know anything from it. You register, go to classes, try not to screw up, and get your piece of fancy paper at the end. And you have as much fun as you can in between. Besides, I wanted to check out the new freshman chicks, and I'll tell you, I’m not disappointed. Come on, I'll show you another way out of here.” I followed him around the edge of the wall to a tiny stairwell that led up to a covered walkway “We're planning on introducing you to a few people today. How was it, anyways?”

  “What, failing with the girl?”

  “No, the orientation, dumbass.”

  I sighed and refrained from smacking him. We came out of the walkway and turned onto the road that led back to the dorm. “Boring. I slept through most of it. The only interesting part was the president's address. He's a good speaker. Twentieth anniversary for the school. He seemed pretty excited about it. Kind of cool, it was founded the year I was born.”

  “President Ripley’s interesting,” Max said. “I’ve heard some weird stories about orientation, though.”

  “Yeah? Like what?”

  “People feeling like he was speaking directly to them, making direct eye contact, things like that. I thought it was the mark of a good speaker, but I’ve run into a few people who mentioned something like that.” He breathed out another stream of smoke as we walked. “The weird part is that all of them insisted they had a headache afterwards.”

  “You mean like the headache I have right now?” I asked.

  Max glanced back at me, then flicked his cigarette into a snowbank. “Oh, more fuel for that rumor. At least you didn’t faint. I heard that someone did last year, but I didn’t see it. What was it like?”

  I shrugged. I liked Max, but I didn’t know him all that well yet, and I wasn’t sure how far to trust either of my roommates with everything going on inside my head. “It was just like you said, it felt like he was making direct eye contact and speaking to me.”

  “Maybe he thinks you’re cute.”

  I stepped over to a nearby snowbank and flung a hasty snowball at him. “Like hell!”

  Max ducked, but it didn’t even come close to hitting him. “At least the girl seemed to think you were. Are you disappointed? Come on, Drew’s got to be ready by now. You can work on your aim later.”

  We reached the dorm a few minutes later. Carson Hall sat on top of a small hill on the northern side of the campus, an edifice that sloped down the hill like a modern day concrete castle. The pictures on the website showed it standing tall and bright and proud, but in reality, it looked like it was sagging and old. Still, it was home, at least for the next year.

  Inside, it was gray and white and brown in equally dirty measure. For a school that was so dedicated to its students, they weren’t terribly dedicated to cleanliness. The layout of the dorm was strange. The floors didn’t match from front to back due to being built partially into the hill itself, having the second floor of the front half of the building be the first floor of the rear half. I had almost gotten lost when I arrived.

  We reached our room, B215, and found Drew inside watching TV. His clothes were neater than what he had been wearing yesterday, and everything about him looked a little more groomed. Max cleared his throat. “Are you wearing cologne?”

  “Maybe.” Drew grinned and clicked the TV off. “About time you got back. How was orientation? Run into any hot chicks?”

  I didn't even get to open my mouth before Max started in on me. “He was talking to this girl when I found him, but he got no name, no phone number, no room number, nothing. Utter failure. I almost felt bad for him.”

  “She seemed cute, too,” I added as I hung up my coat. “Max scared her off.”

  “Tough luck, Kev, tough luck. Max does that. However, I have a fabulous consolation prize for you. We're going to introduce you to not just one, but two hot chicks. Once I remember what room they're in.” Drew rubbed his hands together.

  “Andreas said they were in 229 yesterday. Hell, you remembered they were in 229 yesterday. You're w
ay too excited about this.” Max turned back to the door. “Come on, they're right next to the stairwell. I'll hold your hand so you don't get lost.”

  They left the room, laughing and needling each other all the way down the hall. I trailed behind. Introducing me to these girls was just an excuse to visit them. It wasn’t much of a choice for me. I could take a nap, or I could go with them. I also had the option of heading back to orientation. I shook my head and decided I would try to be sociable.

  Something caught my eye from down the hall, past Max and Drew. The guy in the trench coat stood near the stairwell, sunglasses on, facing in my direction. I opened my mouth to say something, but he simply turned and walked away. Neither of my roommates showed any signs of noticing him. I shook my head and caught up with them. His appearance was not subtle. The fact that I was the only one who noticed him was crazy.

  Drew knocked on the door. “Hey, anyone home?”

  “Door's open!” called a girl's voice. Drew and Max led the way in and I pulled the door shut behind us. Inside, the room was cramped, noticeably smaller than ours. The only light came from a large monitor that was flashing with bright explosions. A girl was playing a game, fast-paced, colorful, and loud, but not one I recognized. It had to be brand new.

  “Hey, Jess, what's up? New game?” Drew asked.

  “Yeah.” More flashy explosions followed. “If you're looking for Lisa, she went to the Caf about half an hour ago. She should be back any minute now.”

  “Can we hang out until she gets back?” Drew asked.

  “I can't stop you,” she replied. Drew walked across the room to an unoccupied chair and flopped down into it. Max slipped past and leaned against the wall near Drew. With them out of the way, I got my first view of Jess. Typical nerd girl. A little heavy, from what I could see. She paid no attention to me. I wasn't sure she even knew I was there.

  I stepped around the corner to get out of the doorway. Two beds were bunked against the far wall near where Drew sat. A stack of empty soda cans was in the corner next to Jess's desk. I took another step to get around the corner and stepped on something soft that slipped under my foot. I put a hand on the wall to steady myself and make sure I didn't ruin whatever I was standing on. My hand landed right on the light switch.

  “Holy shit!” Jess shouted as the overhead light came on, blindingly bright. “Max! I'm going to kill you! You hear me? Kill you!” She twisted in her chair and lunged out of it toward me. Her hand was an inch from my throat when she stopped dead and blinked at me, green eyes behind thick glasses. “Wait. You're not Max.”

  Max cleared his throat. “I'm over here, Jess. Nice to see you, too.”

  She looked over her shoulder at him and her hand dropped to her side. “So you are.” She looked back at me. “So, who’s this asshole, and why does he have a death wish?”

  “I don't think either of us can answer the second part of that question,” Drew said. “I didn't think he was suicidal. Do you think we should take him to the infirmary now, Max?”

  “It might not be a bad idea,” Max agreed.

  “Third time today,” I muttered.

  “What?” Jess glared at me. Now that I could actually see her, I had to revise my first impressions. She was a classical redhead with green eyes and freckles, and even if she was a little chubby, she still looked pretty good. If she lost some weight, she'd look even better. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I bet Max put you up to this.”

  Her personality left a little to be desired, though. It wasn’t as if I had any standing to complain about that. “I had nothing at all to do with that,” he protested.

  “He didn't. I stepped on something and accidentally put my hand on the switch when I was trying to catch my balance.” I pointed down at the ground. The offending object was revealed to be a skirt. I promptly moved my foot away. “I'm their new roommate, by the way. Kevin Parker. Look, I didn't mean to blind you in the middle of your game, I know how that feels. Sorry for making you lose.”

  She frowned at me, but then shrugged and took a step back. “Jess Kelton. Nice to meet you. So, you’re a gamer? What’s your game of choice these days?” She pointed at the computer.

  I mentally slapped myself. I hadn't even thought about it, just shot my mouth off. “I don't game anymore. Broke the addiction.”

  “Addiction? Right.” Her lip curled. Her personality definitely could use adjustment. “So, what are you majoring in? Psychology?”

  “Right now I'm doing business, but I want to take more general education courses and see what catches my interest,” I said. “How about you? Computer engineering?”

  She retreated to her chair and snorted. “I'm no engineer. Computer science with some side courses for graphic design. Looking into the game programming and design field. Why did you think engineering? Do I really look that nerdy?”

  “Well, since you asked, yes,” Max said.

  “Shut up, Max,” she snapped.

  “It was just a guess. Computer science was my next guess,” I said.

  She nodded and pointed at the floor beside me. There was a beanbag on the floor next to the can stack. “Sit,” she ordered. I sat. “So what did you play? Why did you give it up? Embarrassed? Did you miss the memo that nerds are cool these days?”

  That wasn’t true, at least in my experience. High school had been a series of awkward and embarrassing encounters. I thought that community college would let me have a fresh start, but even there, my past followed me. That was part of the reason I came to Ripley. “I never got into games like that. Was that something new?”

  She narrowed her eyes and I thought she'd keep prying, but Max spoke up and saved me. “I didn't know you were a geek, Kev. Don't worry, I don’t think any less of you. Drew might, but I don’t.” Saved me in a manner of speaking, at least.

  Drew shook his head. “No way, man. I have nothing but respect for those guys. If my laptop ever screws up, I'm lost. Hell, all I know how to do on it is check my mail, write my papers, and visit websites.”

  “Yeah, and we all know what sorts of websites you visit,” Max said.

  Jess continued to glare at me. Her expression was hard and disapproving, but she let the topic go. “I didn't think you two would be the type to take in a freshman.”

  “I’m not a freshman,” I said. All three of them stared at me. “I’m technically a transfer student. I went to community college for about a year before coming up here.”

  “That’s weird,” Drew said. “Andreas said we’d get a freshman.”

  “I guess we’ll keep you anyways,” Max said to me.

  “How generous of you,” Jess said.

  “We only signed up for the mentoring program because of the dining plan discount,” Drew added. “Though, it's nice to have someone else around. Max is pretty hard on the eyes after a while, you know?” I winced. Now I felt like a meal ticket.

  “Speak for yourself, Fabio,” Max said. “I've seen the way you gaze into the mirror in the morning. Kev's been pretty good so far. Doesn't look like he's going to need much training, and he already knows how to feed himself and use the litter box properly. I think by the end of the first trimester, we might be able to enter him in a show.”

  “You know, I can hear every single word you say,” I pointed out.

  “Why, so you can.”

  The door burst open. “Hey Jess, I just ran into Kaitlyn over at the Caf, and she said...hey, there's people here!” A tiny black-haired tornado swept into the room. She scooped up the skirt I had stepped on and flung it at the lower bunk as she flew straight at Drew. “Max! Drew! I almost missed you during winter break! No, I'm lying, I didn't miss you at all, but I did think of you once or twice.”

  “Drew thought of you once or twice too,” Max said.

  “I know he did,” she said. “Andreas said you guys were signed up for the mentoring program. I couldn't believe it, but then, I guess you wanted to corrupt some poor freshman. I bet you already took him to meet Andreas to begin the process
. I was hoping that I could talk Jess into doing the same thing so we could cancel out you guys, but she didn't want to. I was so mad at her. I still am, by the way!”

  “No, you're not,” Jess contradicted her.

  “Well, I was!”

  “For about five minutes.”

  “Yeah, well, I can never stay mad at you,” she said, with a slight emphasis on the last word. “So where is he? Did you already abandon him? Don't you ever think about anyone other than yourself, Andrew Lee Grant?”

  “He's right there,” Drew said, pointing at me.

  I stood up just as she whirled around. When Max had joked about Drew having a fetish for tiny Asian girls, he wasn't exaggerating. If she was anything over five feet tall, I would have been shocked. She was no delicate flower, though. She ran across the room and threw her arms around me. “He's so cute!”

  “Full marks from the Chinese judge,” Max said.

  I flipped Max off behind her back. He snickered. I looked down at the girl hugging me fiercely. “Hi, I'm Kevin Parker. Nice to meet you?”

  “I'm Lisa Chen, nice to meet you too. Welcome to Ripley! I'm so sorry you got stuck with those two.” She let go of me and jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “They're complete assholes, both of them. If they give you a problem, just let me know, and I'll come beat them up for you.” She growled. It was more cute than menacing.

  “I'm not an asshole,” Drew protested.

  “Oh no?” Lisa spun away from me so quickly her hair whipped my chest. “Drew, we need to talk about something. Come here. Now.”

  Drew stood up. He was over a foot taller, and had to weigh twice as much. Even so, he didn't look too confident as he stepped toward her. “I should probably apologize, right?”

  “Oh, no, it's far too late for an apology,” Lisa said. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. How could she reach that high? “You did something very wrong, Drew. Very wrong. But it's all right. I've already forgiven you. Ok?” She snuggled up against him, rather suggestively. I didn't know whether I should keep watching or sneak out.